Besides the fact our age didn't count last year, 2020 certainly had it's fair share of disappointments. We all thought a new year would bring with it hope and new beginnings but yet here we are braving another lockdown with more cancelled weddings and holidays, more businesses forced to close their doors and more risk of slipping into alcoholism or at the very least, insanity,
It's been 18 months since COVID-19 first struck and we're still hiding from our neighbours and blowing an artery trying not to cough in public and although it's been a hell of a ride, I will admit to learning a few things along the way (mostly not to touch my face after going to Woolleys). If we can get through a 'once-in-a-lifetime' global health pandemic, I believe we can get through anything and even through all this adversity, the sense of strength and unity in our communities holds strong.
I don't think any of us will be quite the same after this and maybe that's not a bad thing. I'm reading "Any Ordinary Day" at the moment (a MUST read if you haven't already) and studies have shown the greatest potential for growth is after trauma or tragedy. The bigger the tragedy, the bigger the potential for positive change.
So in the midst of Coronavirus when life is throwing some serious curve balls our way, here's a few lessons I've learned that might just help you too...
1. If you practice anything, practice acceptance.
Deep down in our gut, our hearts, our core; we always know the answers. It's our ego that holds us back when we ask whyyyyyyyyy.
Why did that happen to me?
Why didn't I do that sooner?
Why meeee?
Acceptance isn't easy but surrendering to things we cannot change means less stress, regret and rumination. One of my favourite sayings is "Give me coffee for the things I can change and wine for the things I cannot" Never has this been truer than it is right now (*cue sip of wine)
2. Grief and mourning isn't linear.
Each week, each day, each moment will be different when you're going through loss of any kind. Don't beat yourself up for having a 'bad day' if it pops up unexpectedly after a string of good ones. Your journey through grief is your own so let the sadness come, feel it then pick yourself up and keep moving forward. You're not on anyone else's timeline.
*Side note. 'Schitt's Creek' on Netflix is a great show if you're going through something.
3. Use failure as a lesson not a punishment. We beat ourselves up for past mistakes because we don't resonate with that version of ourselves anymore. We are constantly growing and changing so all we can do is learn from our past mistakes and forgive ourselves for what we didn't know back then. If we can reframe our mistakes as lessons then failure can be a positive thing. Think about how you will do things differently next time and thank your past self for what you have learned. 4. Make choices out of love, not fear. Fear has protected us for a long time. Without fear we wouldn't run from danger and there was a time when a tiger chasing us was a legitimate concern. But in the 21st century, fear is more often about losing money, or love or to avoid failure and it can hold us back from living a full and unguarded life. We protect our hearts and our egos by holding back from opportunities but what we really risk is losing the chance to LIVE!
*Spoken by someone who is afraid of her own shadow. 5. Love unconditionally. Loving your friends and family with your whole heart is a beautiful thing, especially during a time that's proven to us how fickle life can be. Whether your'e single, married or otherwise, loving the special people in your life without condition or fear is magic and it's completely FREE! Stay safe my friends. We got this!
Love, Alyssa x
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